Kissing Snakes

If I had known how the day would turn out, maybe I would have stayed at home, or maybe I would have let things happen the way they did – or maybe I already knew the way things were going to turn out anyway…

It was a cold foggy morning, 5.20am to be precise. I left the city behind as I drove to the outskirts of town. Soon, I had left the tarred road behind and was driving along wide dirt roads lined with tall trees on both sides that seemed to touch the heavens. I still felt a bit groggy, but I knew once I got to the farm, there would be warmth and food – and coffee. I salivated at the thought and fixed my eyes on the bumpy road ahead which seemed to snake ahead forever. Thunder rumbled softly in the distance as the truck bounced on the rocky road. It was going to be a very interesting day.

My son was fast asleep in the backseat, totally unperturbed by the constant bounce of the car as we made our fateful journey. Next to him was his girlfriend. Well, she was actually our neighbour’s daughter. A sudden trip had to be made and her mother, being a single parent, had asked if we could take care of her for 6 days. We had obliged. It wasn’t much of a challenge when you consider Stella was a delightful bundle of energy and beauty, a quick learner and a good playmate for my son. They were both fast asleep because we had packed late into the night and had to leave at 4am to get to the farm before we ran into some major traffic.

I had a few things to sort out on our poultry farm including checking through the inventory and farm records – and catching the farm hands unaware. There had been rumours that certain irregularities were going on and I thought it would be a good time to check things out. However, my real fascination came from some interesting chemical I had stumbled on. Now, ‘stumbled on’ isn’t really accurate. I got some interesting goo from a friend of mine who said it could do some interesting things when ingested. So I was going to be a scientist today and try out this interesting stuff with the lab rats I had in a cage somewhere.

The trip was uneventful; we got to the farm at about 6.30. My son and his companion removed their backpacks, took off their shoes and headed straight to the sleeping bags we had in the corner of the room. In a while they were fast asleep. I let them be knowing we had a full day to ourselves before the return trip at 9pm. While they slept on the makeshift beds in a corner of the room which we reserved for study or sleeping, I started to unpack the stuff we had in the bag. I had removed some food when my hand touched something dry and a bit soft in the bag. Absent-mindedly, I kept on unpacking till I realised that the “thing” right in front of me was the brownish green skin of a fairly large snake. Apparently, it seemed to have passed out because of the weight of several items stacked on it, but right now, it was slowly coming to life and I could see it was about to rear its head, bare its fangs, swell its skin and…

I shut the bag, concerned about the others in the room. Quickly, I woke them up and told them I had to sort out a few things and would be back shortly. Showed them where the sandwiches, juice and fruits were and warned them not to touch the chemical I had gotten from my friend – which, to be fair, looked a bit like melted cheese. They had nodded in understanding and I hurriedly left the room with the bag, not wanting to alarm them. Unlike some people I know, I am not a great fan of snakes and when I find them, my natural response is to kill them.

Getting to a clearing where there was less grass, I dropped the bag down slowly to ensure there would not be cover for the snake to easily get away. Readying the cutlass in my right hand, I opened the bag and then pushed back the cover – and as though responding to an unseen cue, the snake’s head popped out of the bag…the swollen head of a cobra. Without thinking I slashed at the head and it drew back, but not quickly enough and my cutlass went clean through the head. I can’t deny the feeling of satisfaction I felt because I really hate snakes!

The deadly reptile thrashed about, spurting blood from its severed parts. I stepped back, already thinking about the ordeal of cleaning up the bag and its content. Somewhere at the back of my mind, I imagined the snake crawling into the bag, unseen. I was really glad that the snake had not caused any damage though. Finally I made my way back to the farmhouse, bag cleaned, snaked disposed of, cutlass in my hand.

But nothing prepared me for what hit me when I opened the door of the room where I had left my son…


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